What is a good mum?
What makes a good mother? Is it one that stays home all day from the moment that child is born until they leave for college, there for every smile, every step, every pinnacle moment? A mother that cooks from scratch, pre-plans her meals a month in advance? A mother that gets down on the floor and plays, makes snowmen and always has fun crafts? Is this the perfect parent, the perfect mother?
Or is it the mom that makes the decision to be a “working mom”, chooses to be strong, empowered and independent, showing her children that chasing your dreams isn’t a bad thing? A mother that leaves in the morning after her children go to school and then returns home to “mad dash” dinner, sometimes dumping a bag full of frozen veggies in frying pan or picking up take out? A mother that pushes her children to be more independent? “You can do it on your own”, she says.
Which mother is the good one, the right one? Well, I have spent many tearful nights worrying about this question myself and what I’ve concluded is this: A mother that questions if she’s a good mother, IS a good mother. She questions herself because she gives a shit. She questions herself because she wants to be better for her children.
As for me, I’ve been both a stay at home mom and a working mom. When my kiddos were babies, I chose to stay home and be there for their first few years to give them the best foundation possible. As my babies were starting school I made the decision to go back to work part time, then eventually full time. As much as I enjoyed those years being a stay at home mom, I needed, actually craved, to have something for myself. As much as I’d like to say I was only going to work to support my family, I have to be honest and say I did it for myself too. I want my kids to see someone they love work hard to be something. I want them to see me not only reach my goals, but chase my dreams, too. I think it’s so important for your kids to see you stand for something, push for something!
As the years go on I’m letting go a bit of what that ideal mother needs to look like. I’m trying my best, I’m working my ass off and yes, I will have days that pizza is on the menu and the floors in my house are not swept, so please don’t judge me because I already do enough of that on my own! 😉
We mothers need to band together and be kind and accepting to each other and drop our preconceived ideas about what a good mother is. We are all different, we all have our reasons and we are all just trying to do the best for our little people, and that’s truly what makes a good mother.
Always be Creating